My house got blown up. Just a little bit. But wouldn't you know it, I make a much better politician than I do carpenter. My poor soft hands aren't suited to such things.
[ His hands are as calloused as any warrior's, and he knows that Manjiro damn well knows that. Still, if he doesn't have his silly little jokes at his disposal, what does he have? ]
I can head to the dojo in an hour or so, if you like. Need me to bring anything? Lunch?
You really are too sweet to me. You know that, right? Aspersions cast on my fighting abilities aside.
I'll be there.
[ And indeed he is -- but not empty-handed, despite Manjiro's greatest wishes. He comes bearing gifts; a box of sweets snagged from a street vendor on the way, and a tin of one of the teas that survived last month, a mild, sweet green tea. He's not one for sweets himself, but he'll never be able to resist plying the guy with his favourite thing.
He looks well enough -- a little tired perhaps, the shadows underneath his eyes a little deeper, a little paler, but hardly different enough for it to become readily apparent. ]
(new hair, as one does, constantly -- the long black hair is now replaced by a cut around his cheekbones. new chapter, new hair. he feels... much better, some atrocities aside, even if the almost-vicious way his fists hit a punching bag might say differently.
he thought he had left his fighting life a while back, but this place requires him to be in top-notch condition. he never stopped working out and practicing while here.
he hears the voice, turning towards the open door of the training section of his home.)
Couldn't wait to get the work-out in until after I arrived, hm? [ Claude says cheekily, stepping through the doorframe with the rustle of a canvas bag brushing against his voluminous trousers, his light jacket only adding to the sheer amount of fabric enveloping his body like a bird bristling its feathers at the first sign of a threat. He leans against the wall, watching Manjiro go at the punching bag with a single-minded dedication of a boy who has spent most of his life fighting.
So has Claude, but he knows skirmishes of rich kids just isn't the same. ]
Here. [ He holds up the box of sweets, so fresh that their scent already begins permeating the dojo. ] I've come to utterly ruin your diet.
Maybe I just wanted to remind you how I look all sweaty.
(does that earn him rose-colored cheeks, or an embarrassed chuckle, or perhaps an attempt at hiding? all welcome and valid. at this point, pulling the shyness off claude first thing is equivalent to a greeting, but that thought lasts very little once his nose picks up on the sugary aroma.
back in their shared delusion, he felt extremely spoiled by claude, and that might as well be the only thing that hasn't changed from then. it makes him smile as bright as a star as he plops on the floor next to claude, tapping the space next to him so the other can do the same.)
[ Manjiro's not too far off -- Claude stops in his tracks, giving Manjiro an incredulous look before running a hand across the back of his neck and glancing away with a quiet chuckle. He's used to being the most flirtatious one in the room. Even after all this time, he doesn't know how to deal with it when he's not -- or when it's directed at him. It's not that it bothers him, per se. If it did, he'd tell Manjiro to cut it out.
It's just... odd, he thinks. Someone flirting with him without really getting anything out of it. It's never happened to him before. ]
You're incorrigible, [ he scolds, but he does sit beside Manjiro nonetheless, opening the box of sweets and sitting it between them. ]
For what it's worth, I was glad to hear from you. It's good to know you made it out of that whole mess alive.
(it amuses him to no end, the fondness clear in both the tone, and the way he smiles as claude sits right beside him. it's always... comfortable, he'd say. at this point, he surely does not attribute it to how he felt back then, but how claude makes him feel now. he earned the easiness in manjiro's stance, a little 'o' forming in his lips as he takes a good look at the offering.
he has no hesitation in shoving one into his mouth.)
It doesn't count if you come back right afterwards. That's not a death, that's a blip -- and one that saves us from undergoing the long, arduous process of healing up afterwards, at that.
[ That's what he keeps telling himself, anyway. It's going to get to a point where people will just off themselves when they've suffered grievous wounds, he thinks. It is better than being laid out in bed for months at a time.
And so he doesn't sound as though he's being too flippant, he bumps his shoulder against Manjiro's. ]
Honestly? From experience? Dying permanently is way easier than healing some wounds, especially those that can't be healed. I'd rather be done with.
(unfortunately, he remembers - or at least, as much as one can, about the years he spent with his head trauma, before it all went to shit to prevent it. it would have definitely be easier if he didn't wither for so long before it came.
the shoulders touching is a nice touch, and he's not hesitant to rest against it with a little smile.)
[ Not that he disagrees with the notion that it's easier to simply... disappear and come back than it is to heal from grievous wounds, but he'd much rather live a life with far fewer grievous wounds as it is. It's all a bit unpalatable. ]
That being said, let's not be in a hurry to repeat that. Let's both keep this as our last death, [ he says firmly. ] No matter how tempting it may be not to rest a broken bone.
You're like, 3 deaths and some not even here behind me anyway. No fun in winnin' so easy. Or at least, I think you are.
(considering home, that is, and that count may or not be accurate. too many lives to take into account, too many details and events to keep track of. he can only do so much.)
I think I ain't told you about the whole time-travelling shit. I'm older than you now, just don't look like it.
You did, actually. A little bit. The day that I came back. [ Claude grins, tipping his cup to the side to look down at the way light reflects off of the clear glass-like surface of the tea. ]
It's the sort of thing I would have dismissed as madness before coming here, but let's just say I've had to eat my words more than once. [ Time travel, he'd mentioned; older than he looks. But Manjiro had seemed as though he was just getting his feet underneath him, and Claude had just been trying to entertain him for the evening.
Now, they can talk about it. ]
So. At home, you died before coming back again, just like here -- but with more time travel. Is that right?
I would too, if we're honest. But hey, a lot of stuff is new to you, right? That AI shit must be mind-boggling.
(while the sweets are wonderful, the tea earthy and sweet just how he enjoys it, it's the company that puts him most at peace. he's already resting on the other, so it's an easy enough step to close his eyes, rest is head against shoulder as he listens to him.
he likes to think that he's got over the past they never had, and while it is true that now he sees claude as himself, and appreciates what they truly are now, a part of him still equates claude with safety, tranquility, someone he doesn't have to have his guard up for. so, it's nice. it's easy, regardless of the weight of the conversation.)
... More or less. First time, I hit my head, was in a vegetative state for four years, then I died, and my brother went back in time for me. One time, I died by cop-suicide, and another, I jumped from a building. I didn't come back, my friend just changed some events so these wouldn't have happened in the first place. Butterfly effect, you know?
The AI shit is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. I'm still getting used to these damn games Ange had me download.
[ He also learned the term 'download'! He's very proud of himself! He's less proud of his ability to navigate a game's UI, and Ange has informed him that just playing digital chess doesn't count as learning how to play video games, more's the pity. But he quickly sobers as Manjiro continues talking, hands folded in his lap as he quietly listens to what he has to say.
This makes two people he cares deeply about who have dabbled in the desire to kill themselves -- no, not just dabbled. They tried. Both of them. It's something Claude can't ever wrap his head around - lucky for him, he supposes - but it makes his chest ache something fierce to think about the people he's come to appreciate reaching that level of despair, with no living person able to properly convince them to come up for air.
Except Manjiro does have that someone, it appears. His brother. Thank god. ]
You've been through a hell of a lot, [ he says. Manjiro can't see properly see his expression from where he's resting his head on his shoulder, so he allows his face to settle into that quiet sadness. ] As inconceivable as it seems, I'm glad that that was something you were able to reverse.
[ Not all people have that luxury. In another world, a less forgiving world, Manjiro did not have that second chance. He died, for good. Remembered as a cop-killer and a criminal, not a cheeky boy with a sharp smile and a devastating sweet tooth. ]
You tried to kill yourself twice. Now, are you...?
[ Is Manjiro here for good? Or is he likely to step right back onto that precipice? ]
Look at you, a modern man. I got an actual video-game here, I'll teach you so you can be one step closer to getting that AI shit.
(not that these two things are at all related, he just... likes to spend time with claude, no matter what they're doing. the conversation is always interesting, and it makes him founder of the man every time - it's almost like he's slowly uncovering a secret, and when he does, it goes to the grave with him. seems a theme for him as of late, all these people who hardly talk about themselves.
the subject might be heavy, but with his eyes closed, manjiro can't notice that it upsets, his voice is factual, a simple piece of information about him rather than a bomb that he just dropped. it's not like he allows it to show when it upsets him. it's a good question, though, that claude poses and manjiro cannot blame him for asking, for worrying.
well.)
Nah. My brother killed a time-leaper for it, and the fucker cursed him, so, technically, me. You met the me that jumped off a building. I was hardly sane and holding on, because of that damn curse, and I was fighting it to some extent and it just takes a lot out of me and made me a danger to the people who wanted me back, so I wanted to end it. I think what made me not pop you dead back then was the fact you liked me regardless, so it wasn't like you were trying to save me or make me different when I couldn't be.
I'm curse-free, so, everyone's safe.
(not that he's worried about himself, although he does make it in the definition of 'everyone'.)
Hey. [ He takes advantage of poor Manjiro's trust to flick his forehead with a thunk. ] When did I make it sound like I was worried about everyone? I'm not worried about the curse. I'm worried about you.
[ The fact that Manjiro had wanted to die over and over again, the fact that he'd felt that he wasn't allowed to become close to anyone, the fact that even after the dust has settled, he doesn't seem to grasp just how severe it is -- every bit of it is more worrisome than the last. Manjiro may say that he's fine now, but this sort of thing isn't something that ever leaves you. It stays with you. It haunts you. Claude has been around enough soldiers and warriors to understand those signs, even if he can't empathize with them. It's a problem that Claude doesn't know how to solve. For most other things, he has at least an inkling; when the primary war someone is waging is against themselves, he's lost.
But he can be here, at least. For Ange, for Marianne, for Manjiro, for the people he cares about who unfeasibly seem to think that their absence would be better for those around them than their presence. ]
You have memories of all of them, don't you? Doesn't that mean that he was also... you? [ He shakes his head. ] Maybe that's why that other world stuck with you more than it stuck with me. You're used to having different lives.
... Ou-ch. Bitch. I'm everyone, and so are you, and the curse made me a problem for all involved. Fuck, ouch. God, liked you better when you were head over heels for me, you'd never do me like that.
(it's said with a very big pout as he distances in almost a jump, it hurt!!! nevermind the fact that he is taking claude's hand and putting it where it hurts to massage it. it's penance. repent, sinner, as he frowns at the other boy. he is part of everyone, if he hasn't thought about it. there's a very good reason why manjiro left when he lost his mind in aldrip, and it was not only to protect himself but to protect the people around him from... well, manjiro himself.)
... Yeah. That time, though... I didn't even know. My friend is the one who was going back and forth to save me because he just has a huge issue leaving things alone, my brother gave him the gift and then died not long after. He was trying to solve the whole damn thing, and he just got to a point that he had to tell me or else it'd all go to shit, so.
[ Claude sniffs, as haughty as ever when he gets in a certain mood. He doesn't like to act the noble unless it's funny or proves a point -- and this does both. ]
You were never a problem for me, so the curse never managed to sink its claws into me, so that's that.
[ He's not much for curses, admittedly. Marianne had had similar concerns and he'd told her very much the same thing. They're the decider of their own fates, not some bullshit curses. He does, however, obediently poke and prod at where he'd flicked Manjiro. ]
So how did it wind up? Did your friend manage to survive in the end too? [ He stretches his legs out in front of him. ] ...and how many people got to remember their past lives? If he kept on doing that, it's not just you and him who had your fates changed. That's what they say, isn't it? Just one small action can ripple out far enough to change the course of history itself.
(because he left, that's why! but he knows keeping at that part of it isn't going to do much for them, because in the end, claude... cared for him, even when he met a version of him that was ruthless and broken to the moon and back.
there's no arguing. he just doesn't like it.)
... No, I... Stabbed him with a sword, managed to go back in time before he was fully gone... But only the two of us remember. He used to learn who bit it and went back to try to fix it, but the last time we did it together. Everyone lived, dreams achieved, so forth, so forth, so, yeah. One small action - I think the time-travel thing knows that too, it ships you right where you need to be.
So, that's the story of how I am probably 30 in the body of a 19-year-old. Imagine reliving your teenage weird shit when you're mentally in your twenties, oof.
[ Claude is quiet for a moment, wistful. He wonders what life would be like if he had the ability to turn back time. To grasp Teach by the shoulder and urge them to not let his father come along to that fatal mission, to approach Edelgard and Dimitri and to share with them all of his misgivings and hope that they can work together, to be able to evade death, evade war, even if he had to do it again and again and again and again.
Perhaps it is kinder to only make someone live the one life. To dwell on your mistakes in strange perpetuity, several lifetimes of grief and suffering, is no way to live. He's envious anyway.
None of it gets voiced aloud. It doesn't need to be. Nobody feels any joy knowing that others envy their lot in life. ]
I imagine it's the kinder thing, that none of the others remember, [ he muses. ] I'm sure they all went through things I can't well imagine. To live a life that's the best outcome possible to them without the awareness of how different things could have been... that's a gift.
[ But not for the ones that remember. Not for Manjiro. Not for his friend. ]
But I suspect, my friend, that you'd rather not forget. Some lessons are hard-earned. [ He glances at him. ] And at least you have a partner to remember it with you. Pity he wasn't able to join you here too.
(it's all he can say, knowing fully well that, in most of the lives he had lived, things had not turned out well for his loved ones, courtesy of himself. either they're living a life they would not agree with, or they were six feet under - the one time they weren't ruined, takemichi couldn't take 'good enough' as an answer.
he wishes he could say that everything is solved now, but that also isn't true. things that shaped them still, in most cases, happened in a way or another... but things are better, and all live through all the heartache in the invisible fight he had been engaged in for the past years.)
He used to be, before I met you. He sorta told everyone about the curse, that mistletoe thing happened, and then he was gone. I think... The time-leaping doesn't work here, but I have wondered if something would.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-08-24 12:40 am (UTC)meet me at the dojo. i wanna look at you.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-26 11:00 pm (UTC)Forgotten what I look like already?
no subject
Date: 2024-08-26 11:28 pm (UTC)(he's already forgiven. manjiro's just Like That.)
maybe.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-27 12:01 am (UTC)[ His hands are as calloused as any warrior's, and he knows that Manjiro damn well knows that. Still, if he doesn't have his silly little jokes at his disposal, what does he have? ]
I can head to the dojo in an hour or so, if you like. Need me to bring anything? Lunch?
no subject
Date: 2024-08-27 12:25 am (UTC)i miss you, wanna see if you're okay with my own two eyes. just a claude will do.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-29 01:29 am (UTC)You really are too sweet to me. You know that, right? Aspersions cast on my fighting abilities aside.
I'll be there.
[ And indeed he is -- but not empty-handed, despite Manjiro's greatest wishes. He comes bearing gifts; a box of sweets snagged from a street vendor on the way, and a tin of one of the teas that survived last month, a mild, sweet green tea. He's not one for sweets himself, but he'll never be able to resist plying the guy with his favourite thing.
He looks well enough -- a little tired perhaps, the shadows underneath his eyes a little deeper, a little paler, but hardly different enough for it to become readily apparent. ]
Manjiro! Are you here?
no subject
Date: 2024-08-29 01:08 pm (UTC)he thought he had left his fighting life a while back, but this place requires him to be in top-notch condition. he never stopped working out and practicing while here.
he hears the voice, turning towards the open door of the training section of his home.)
Come in, Claude, I'm almost done!
no subject
Date: 2024-09-07 01:43 am (UTC)So has Claude, but he knows skirmishes of rich kids just isn't the same. ]
Here. [ He holds up the box of sweets, so fresh that their scent already begins permeating the dojo. ] I've come to utterly ruin your diet.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-16 11:56 pm (UTC)(does that earn him rose-colored cheeks, or an embarrassed chuckle, or perhaps an attempt at hiding? all welcome and valid. at this point, pulling the shyness off claude first thing is equivalent to a greeting, but that thought lasts very little once his nose picks up on the sugary aroma.
back in their shared delusion, he felt extremely spoiled by claude, and that might as well be the only thing that hasn't changed from then. it makes him smile as bright as a star as he plops on the floor next to claude, tapping the space next to him so the other can do the same.)
Thanks. Sit with me.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-23 09:56 pm (UTC)It's just... odd, he thinks. Someone flirting with him without really getting anything out of it. It's never happened to him before. ]
You're incorrigible, [ he scolds, but he does sit beside Manjiro nonetheless, opening the box of sweets and sitting it between them. ]
For what it's worth, I was glad to hear from you. It's good to know you made it out of that whole mess alive.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-26 08:48 pm (UTC)(it amuses him to no end, the fondness clear in both the tone, and the way he smiles as claude sits right beside him. it's always... comfortable, he'd say. at this point, he surely does not attribute it to how he felt back then, but how claude makes him feel now. he earned the easiness in manjiro's stance, a little 'o' forming in his lips as he takes a good look at the offering.
he has no hesitation in shoving one into his mouth.)
Mhm? No, I died, actually, but it's fine.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-29 12:09 am (UTC)It doesn't count if you come back right afterwards. That's not a death, that's a blip -- and one that saves us from undergoing the long, arduous process of healing up afterwards, at that.
[ That's what he keeps telling himself, anyway. It's going to get to a point where people will just off themselves when they've suffered grievous wounds, he thinks. It is better than being laid out in bed for months at a time.
And so he doesn't sound as though he's being too flippant, he bumps his shoulder against Manjiro's. ]
I died too. But it didn't stick, so who cares?
[ Certainly not Claude!! ]
cw injuries and death talk
Date: 2024-09-30 05:51 pm (UTC)(unfortunately, he remembers - or at least, as much as one can, about the years he spent with his head trauma, before it all went to shit to prevent it. it would have definitely be easier if he didn't wither for so long before it came.
the shoulders touching is a nice touch, and he's not hesitant to rest against it with a little smile.)
... That said, I'm happy we came back.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-09 10:17 am (UTC)[ Not that he disagrees with the notion that it's easier to simply... disappear and come back than it is to heal from grievous wounds, but he'd much rather live a life with far fewer grievous wounds as it is. It's all a bit unpalatable. ]
That being said, let's not be in a hurry to repeat that. Let's both keep this as our last death, [ he says firmly. ] No matter how tempting it may be not to rest a broken bone.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-09 06:40 pm (UTC)(considering home, that is, and that count may or not be accurate. too many lives to take into account, too many details and events to keep track of. he can only do so much.)
I think I ain't told you about the whole time-travelling shit. I'm older than you now, just don't look like it.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-15 11:45 pm (UTC)It's the sort of thing I would have dismissed as madness before coming here, but let's just say I've had to eat my words more than once. [ Time travel, he'd mentioned; older than he looks. But Manjiro had seemed as though he was just getting his feet underneath him, and Claude had just been trying to entertain him for the evening.
Now, they can talk about it. ]
So. At home, you died before coming back again, just like here -- but with more time travel. Is that right?
cw suicide mention
Date: 2024-10-17 03:29 pm (UTC)(while the sweets are wonderful, the tea earthy and sweet just how he enjoys it, it's the company that puts him most at peace. he's already resting on the other, so it's an easy enough step to close his eyes, rest is head against shoulder as he listens to him.
he likes to think that he's got over the past they never had, and while it is true that now he sees claude as himself, and appreciates what they truly are now, a part of him still equates claude with safety, tranquility, someone he doesn't have to have his guard up for. so, it's nice. it's easy, regardless of the weight of the conversation.)
... More or less. First time, I hit my head, was in a vegetative state for four years, then I died, and my brother went back in time for me. One time, I died by cop-suicide, and another, I jumped from a building. I didn't come back, my friend just changed some events so these wouldn't have happened in the first place. Butterfly effect, you know?
no subject
Date: 2024-10-24 01:52 am (UTC)[ He also learned the term 'download'! He's very proud of himself! He's less proud of his ability to navigate a game's UI, and Ange has informed him that just playing digital chess doesn't count as learning how to play video games, more's the pity. But he quickly sobers as Manjiro continues talking, hands folded in his lap as he quietly listens to what he has to say.
This makes two people he cares deeply about who have dabbled in the desire to kill themselves -- no, not just dabbled. They tried. Both of them. It's something Claude can't ever wrap his head around - lucky for him, he supposes - but it makes his chest ache something fierce to think about the people he's come to appreciate reaching that level of despair, with no living person able to properly convince them to come up for air.
Except Manjiro does have that someone, it appears. His brother. Thank god. ]
You've been through a hell of a lot, [ he says. Manjiro can't see properly see his expression from where he's resting his head on his shoulder, so he allows his face to settle into that quiet sadness. ] As inconceivable as it seems, I'm glad that that was something you were able to reverse.
[ Not all people have that luxury. In another world, a less forgiving world, Manjiro did not have that second chance. He died, for good. Remembered as a cop-killer and a criminal, not a cheeky boy with a sharp smile and a devastating sweet tooth. ]
You tried to kill yourself twice. Now, are you...?
[ Is Manjiro here for good? Or is he likely to step right back onto that precipice? ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-26 11:01 pm (UTC)(not that these two things are at all related, he just... likes to spend time with claude, no matter what they're doing. the conversation is always interesting, and it makes him founder of the man every time - it's almost like he's slowly uncovering a secret, and when he does, it goes to the grave with him. seems a theme for him as of late, all these people who hardly talk about themselves.
the subject might be heavy, but with his eyes closed, manjiro can't notice that it upsets, his voice is factual, a simple piece of information about him rather than a bomb that he just dropped. it's not like he allows it to show when it upsets him. it's a good question, though, that claude poses and manjiro cannot blame him for asking, for worrying.
well.)
Nah. My brother killed a time-leaper for it, and the fucker cursed him, so, technically, me. You met the me that jumped off a building. I was hardly sane and holding on, because of that damn curse, and I was fighting it to some extent and it just takes a lot out of me and made me a danger to the people who wanted me back, so I wanted to end it. I think what made me not pop you dead back then was the fact you liked me regardless, so it wasn't like you were trying to save me or make me different when I couldn't be.
I'm curse-free, so, everyone's safe.
(not that he's worried about himself, although he does make it in the definition of 'everyone'.)
no subject
Date: 2024-10-29 08:25 pm (UTC)Hey. [ He takes advantage of poor Manjiro's trust to flick his forehead with a thunk. ] When did I make it sound like I was worried about everyone? I'm not worried about the curse. I'm worried about you.
[ The fact that Manjiro had wanted to die over and over again, the fact that he'd felt that he wasn't allowed to become close to anyone, the fact that even after the dust has settled, he doesn't seem to grasp just how severe it is -- every bit of it is more worrisome than the last. Manjiro may say that he's fine now, but this sort of thing isn't something that ever leaves you. It stays with you. It haunts you. Claude has been around enough soldiers and warriors to understand those signs, even if he can't empathize with them. It's a problem that Claude doesn't know how to solve. For most other things, he has at least an inkling; when the primary war someone is waging is against themselves, he's lost.
But he can be here, at least. For Ange, for Marianne, for Manjiro, for the people he cares about who unfeasibly seem to think that their absence would be better for those around them than their presence. ]
You have memories of all of them, don't you? Doesn't that mean that he was also... you? [ He shakes his head. ] Maybe that's why that other world stuck with you more than it stuck with me. You're used to having different lives.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-29 08:42 pm (UTC)(it's said with a very big pout as he distances in almost a jump, it hurt!!! nevermind the fact that he is taking claude's hand and putting it where it hurts to massage it. it's penance. repent, sinner, as he frowns at the other boy. he is part of everyone, if he hasn't thought about it. there's a very good reason why manjiro left when he lost his mind in aldrip, and it was not only to protect himself but to protect the people around him from... well, manjiro himself.)
... Yeah. That time, though... I didn't even know. My friend is the one who was going back and forth to save me because he just has a huge issue leaving things alone, my brother gave him the gift and then died not long after. He was trying to solve the whole damn thing, and he just got to a point that he had to tell me or else it'd all go to shit, so.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-19 02:14 am (UTC)You were never a problem for me, so the curse never managed to sink its claws into me, so that's that.
[ He's not much for curses, admittedly. Marianne had had similar concerns and he'd told her very much the same thing. They're the decider of their own fates, not some bullshit curses. He does, however, obediently poke and prod at where he'd flicked Manjiro. ]
So how did it wind up? Did your friend manage to survive in the end too? [ He stretches his legs out in front of him. ] ...and how many people got to remember their past lives? If he kept on doing that, it's not just you and him who had your fates changed. That's what they say, isn't it? Just one small action can ripple out far enough to change the course of history itself.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-24 07:30 pm (UTC)there's no arguing. he just doesn't like it.)
... No, I... Stabbed him with a sword, managed to go back in time before he was fully gone... But only the two of us remember. He used to learn who bit it and went back to try to fix it, but the last time we did it together. Everyone lived, dreams achieved, so forth, so forth, so, yeah. One small action - I think the time-travel thing knows that too, it ships you right where you need to be.
So, that's the story of how I am probably 30 in the body of a 19-year-old. Imagine reliving your teenage weird shit when you're mentally in your twenties, oof.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-02 09:22 am (UTC)Perhaps it is kinder to only make someone live the one life. To dwell on your mistakes in strange perpetuity, several lifetimes of grief and suffering, is no way to live. He's envious anyway.
None of it gets voiced aloud. It doesn't need to be. Nobody feels any joy knowing that others envy their lot in life. ]
I imagine it's the kinder thing, that none of the others remember, [ he muses. ] I'm sure they all went through things I can't well imagine. To live a life that's the best outcome possible to them without the awareness of how different things could have been... that's a gift.
[ But not for the ones that remember. Not for Manjiro. Not for his friend. ]
But I suspect, my friend, that you'd rather not forget. Some lessons are hard-earned. [ He glances at him. ] And at least you have a partner to remember it with you. Pity he wasn't able to join you here too.
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Date: 2024-12-08 11:29 pm (UTC)(it's all he can say, knowing fully well that, in most of the lives he had lived, things had not turned out well for his loved ones, courtesy of himself. either they're living a life they would not agree with, or they were six feet under - the one time they weren't ruined, takemichi couldn't take 'good enough' as an answer.
he wishes he could say that everything is solved now, but that also isn't true. things that shaped them still, in most cases, happened in a way or another... but things are better, and all live through all the heartache in the invisible fight he had been engaged in for the past years.)
He used to be, before I met you. He sorta told everyone about the curse, that mistletoe thing happened, and then he was gone. I think... The time-leaping doesn't work here, but I have wondered if something would.
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