[ It's not a rejection of what he's saying. Her tone isn't firm enough for it. Compared to how he raised his voice a moment ago, Ange's own voice is so quiet - like it's a vulnerable admission, something she wouldn't just tell anyone.
But considering what Claude is saying, she has to tell him. She has to confess this. That she doesn't know how to do that - just.. living.
It makes something in her gaze look desperate as she stares at him, unsure what to say here, other than this. She's never known how to live. The only reason she's still living now, past her due date, is because she had one last thing to do. Is that really living? She more often feels like a zombie shambling through life.
Ange is quiet for a few moments after it, then she shakes her head. ]
Sorry, I shouldn't be saying this. I mean-- Not right now. You have to rest first. [ God, he just literally came back from the dead. ]
[ That's simplifying it, isn't it? Claude doesn't know what it is to live like Ange, like Marianne, like any number of people he's known who are prone to such thoughts, who feel each day as an unbearable weight, who are able to somehow convince themselves wholeheartedly that the world is a better place without them in it. God willing, he never will know. It's been one of many ways that the gods have spared him from despair, whether that's through his natural disposition or his good luck to not go through the same rigors that others have.
So he'll never understand. So what? He can at least help them find some little reasons to keep living: to find out what happens next in the next installment of your favourite novels, to taste foods that are new and exciting, to feel the wind on your face as you sail through the air, to feel the warmth of the fire against your frozen fingertips. There are reasons, as numerous as grains of sand, provided you're able to see them. Provided perhaps that you have someone to show them to you. ]
And I can help. I know you might see all of my lofty goals, foolish as they may be, but... I'm not too bad at the other stuff either. [ He raps his knuckles against her shoulder, though he leaves his hand there. ] There's beauty to living. We'll figure it out together. And for the record --
[ He almost says he's glad he died, if that's what it took for her to tell him this. Almost. He doesn't think she'd take kindly to that, though, and he doesn't even believe it himself. He's just glad that some good can come of it. ]
I'm glad you told me. Don't worry about the timing. This is the sort of thing I want to know.
[ She slowly raises her gaze to actually look at him.
There's something hesitant about it. The girl still looks awkward, like confessing all of this takes a lot out of her - and the fact she was already so emotionally exhausted because of her feelings over his death sure don't really help with that either. Still, it does seem like something about his words at least coax enough out of the girl to make her look over at him.
Silently, first, for a moment. Maybe she's thinking about everything he's saying. Especially when Ange isn't sure what these words mean. Claude clearly is affected by his death - who wouldn't be, if you aren't used to the kind of crap that Ange is? - and yet he's saying he's glad she told him this. Even though this feels like the worst possible moment of it.
If it wasn't for the fact that she doesn't think Claude would practice empty flattery when something in his eyes looks so tired, she might imagine he was lying to her.
But if he isn't-- what then? What does that make this? Is Claude just truly that nice, that selfless? For her?
...
She'll try to drag him over towards a bed in a moment, she tells herself. She has to make sure Claude rests, especially when she isn't sure a guy who would stop to listen to all of this right after dying would make sure he gets said necessary rest.
But right now, just for a moment, she needs to hear-- ]
You can help..?
[ It doesn't feel like anyone can. It's never felt that way. Ange doesn't even know how to express this endlessly hopeless feeling to anyone else. It feels impossible to understand for someone who hasn't been through it themselves-- so how is anyone meant to help with that? If Ange can't get out of that pit herself, how could someone else help her?
But..
Is it so strange to have just a little bit of hope when he's the one telling her it? ]
[ That right there is all Claude needed to hear. That Ange was even willing to be helped, willing to be changed; true doom would come if she had simply resigned herself to this fate, to feeling this way forever until she was inevitably able to fulfil her goal. But Claude has never been one to believe that any destiny is written in stone, and especially not such a cruel one for a young woman who he's never seen do anything worse to another soul than to indulge in a sharp word or two.
So there's still hope. There's still a life to be lived. Two of them, in fact. Even if it's as common as breathing in this place, the gods had seen fit to give him a second chance, and he doesn't intend to squander that gift. ]
Sure I can, [ he says, easy, confident. ] So long as you let me.
[ He's not as confident as he sounds. Not nearly. But, Claude figures, he's smart, and he's pushy, and he knows how to live life to its fullest. And where that personal expertise fails, he has books to fill up the gaps. He knows it will be a slow process, slow enough so that Ange herself may not even notice when the shift happens. At least that's what he's hoping for. What he needs to sell here is not the certainty that he can help, but in the certainty that things can change -- and that, at least, he can do.
In some ways, this is a more intimidating prospect than his loftier goals, but no less worthwhile for it. He reaches his hand out to her, as though to shake on it. ]
We'll try together. Which means if you ever feel... [ He trails off, unsure as to what to say, how to say it. ] Well, I never mind the company.
[ Don't worry, Ange. At least with this guy, you don't have to worry much about interrupting a booty call. ]
[ It really is the biggest danger in this place...
Still, right now the main thing Ange is thinking about is how strange all of this is. It's only been in this place that she's been introduced to the concept of people wanting to help her - well, without getting hired for it, anyway. But what Claude is doing is going even beyond that. He's not offering to help her with a simple thing, to start with. And he's offering her it despite the fact that he just went through hell and back.
She takes the hand and shakes it, but the thoughts keep lingering in her mind, and..
It makes her release the hand after a moment, just to go in for another hug. A more brief one this time. She may cling to him intensely, but it's only for a moment, as if Ange really had to get that one out. When she lets go of him, her face is finally mostly free of tears, but she does look like she's blushing a little bit, not fully sure of how to handle herself in this moment, unlike the usual. ]
Thanks. [ Ange says, once she's let go. ] If there's anything I can help you with too at some point, you should let me know.
[ She glances back over her shoulder at the wyvern, and then over to Claude again. ]
Mroe than just watching her while you're gone, I mean. [ Though, let's be real. Ange was the one being babysat by the wyvern, not the other way around. ]
[ Claude does not, in fact, let her go immediately, muscling her in for a bigger hug. At this point, he's gotten the sensation that Ange may well need it more than he does, which says a lot about Ange's own mental state, and about the state of this goddamn place that it can whip them into such a tizzy. Everyone could use a good hug now and then, anyway; Claude remembers getting bear hugs from Nader when he was a kid, feeling protected and warm in his embrace, like nothing else could possibly hurt him. He may be lacking in Nader's sheer girth (no matter how much he may try to replicate it), but he is at the very least bigger than Ange is.
He can't keep her safe. Not from this place, and certainly not from herself. But he can help her feel like he can, for just a moment. He does relinquish her from his arms eventually though, lip curled in a half-smile seeing her tear-streaked face wiped clean, though he can still see the vestiges of exhaustion in her, the sort you get after you spill your guts without ever having planned on it. ]
Well... you could come with me inside? [ He nods over at the Apothecary. ] I'm beat. I could use a sit down. But I wouldn't mind the company.
[ The place is trashed to hell. He's doing it because he's not going to send her home, not in this condition, and he'd really like to lie down for a few minutes or hours, or possibly days. But also because after everything that's happened, it will do the paranoid corners of his mind good to have a sharp pair of eyes in there with him to catch onto whatever it is he may miss. ]
.. forget the sit down. You should probably just nap.
[ There's no sharpness to her words at all, even when Ange is saying stuff that's a little bit more like the things she would usually say - if neither of them had been through the wringer in their own way over the past week. If they didn't have such a massively embarrassing emotional display.
It's likely the fault of all of those things that her tone is more meek now as she speaks.
Still - she doesn't seem to reject his request, already stepping closer in the direction of the door before she stops to look back at him. ]
It should be safe to do that now. Or-- You know, whatever goes for 'safe' in this place on a normal day.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-11-03 11:59 am (UTC)[ It's not a rejection of what he's saying. Her tone isn't firm enough for it. Compared to how he raised his voice a moment ago, Ange's own voice is so quiet - like it's a vulnerable admission, something she wouldn't just tell anyone.
But considering what Claude is saying, she has to tell him. She has to confess this. That she doesn't know how to do that - just.. living.
It makes something in her gaze look desperate as she stares at him, unsure what to say here, other than this. She's never known how to live. The only reason she's still living now, past her due date, is because she had one last thing to do. Is that really living? She more often feels like a zombie shambling through life.
Ange is quiet for a few moments after it, then she shakes her head. ]
Sorry, I shouldn't be saying this. I mean-- Not right now. You have to rest first. [ God, he just literally came back from the dead. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-11-20 12:33 am (UTC)[ That's simplifying it, isn't it? Claude doesn't know what it is to live like Ange, like Marianne, like any number of people he's known who are prone to such thoughts, who feel each day as an unbearable weight, who are able to somehow convince themselves wholeheartedly that the world is a better place without them in it. God willing, he never will know. It's been one of many ways that the gods have spared him from despair, whether that's through his natural disposition or his good luck to not go through the same rigors that others have.
So he'll never understand. So what? He can at least help them find some little reasons to keep living: to find out what happens next in the next installment of your favourite novels, to taste foods that are new and exciting, to feel the wind on your face as you sail through the air, to feel the warmth of the fire against your frozen fingertips. There are reasons, as numerous as grains of sand, provided you're able to see them. Provided perhaps that you have someone to show them to you. ]
And I can help. I know you might see all of my lofty goals, foolish as they may be, but... I'm not too bad at the other stuff either. [ He raps his knuckles against her shoulder, though he leaves his hand there. ] There's beauty to living. We'll figure it out together. And for the record --
[ He almost says he's glad he died, if that's what it took for her to tell him this. Almost. He doesn't think she'd take kindly to that, though, and he doesn't even believe it himself. He's just glad that some good can come of it. ]
I'm glad you told me. Don't worry about the timing. This is the sort of thing I want to know.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-23 12:27 pm (UTC)There's something hesitant about it. The girl still looks awkward, like confessing all of this takes a lot out of her - and the fact she was already so emotionally exhausted because of her feelings over his death sure don't really help with that either. Still, it does seem like something about his words at least coax enough out of the girl to make her look over at him.
Silently, first, for a moment. Maybe she's thinking about everything he's saying. Especially when Ange isn't sure what these words mean. Claude clearly is affected by his death - who wouldn't be, if you aren't used to the kind of crap that Ange is? - and yet he's saying he's glad she told him this. Even though this feels like the worst possible moment of it.
If it wasn't for the fact that she doesn't think Claude would practice empty flattery when something in his eyes looks so tired, she might imagine he was lying to her.
But if he isn't-- what then? What does that make this? Is Claude just truly that nice, that selfless? For her?
...
She'll try to drag him over towards a bed in a moment, she tells herself. She has to make sure Claude rests, especially when she isn't sure a guy who would stop to listen to all of this right after dying would make sure he gets said necessary rest.
But right now, just for a moment, she needs to hear-- ]
You can help..?
[ It doesn't feel like anyone can. It's never felt that way. Ange doesn't even know how to express this endlessly hopeless feeling to anyone else. It feels impossible to understand for someone who hasn't been through it themselves-- so how is anyone meant to help with that? If Ange can't get out of that pit herself, how could someone else help her?
But..
Is it so strange to have just a little bit of hope when he's the one telling her it? ]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-03 09:09 am (UTC)So there's still hope. There's still a life to be lived. Two of them, in fact. Even if it's as common as breathing in this place, the gods had seen fit to give him a second chance, and he doesn't intend to squander that gift. ]
Sure I can, [ he says, easy, confident. ] So long as you let me.
[ He's not as confident as he sounds. Not nearly. But, Claude figures, he's smart, and he's pushy, and he knows how to live life to its fullest. And where that personal expertise fails, he has books to fill up the gaps. He knows it will be a slow process, slow enough so that Ange herself may not even notice when the shift happens. At least that's what he's hoping for. What he needs to sell here is not the certainty that he can help, but in the certainty that things can change -- and that, at least, he can do.
In some ways, this is a more intimidating prospect than his loftier goals, but no less worthwhile for it. He reaches his hand out to her, as though to shake on it. ]
We'll try together. Which means if you ever feel... [ He trails off, unsure as to what to say, how to say it. ] Well, I never mind the company.
[ Don't worry, Ange. At least with this guy, you don't have to worry much about interrupting a booty call. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-07 01:46 pm (UTC)Still, right now the main thing Ange is thinking about is how strange all of this is. It's only been in this place that she's been introduced to the concept of people wanting to help her - well, without getting hired for it, anyway. But what Claude is doing is going even beyond that. He's not offering to help her with a simple thing, to start with. And he's offering her it despite the fact that he just went through hell and back.
She takes the hand and shakes it, but the thoughts keep lingering in her mind, and..
It makes her release the hand after a moment, just to go in for another hug. A more brief one this time. She may cling to him intensely, but it's only for a moment, as if Ange really had to get that one out. When she lets go of him, her face is finally mostly free of tears, but she does look like she's blushing a little bit, not fully sure of how to handle herself in this moment, unlike the usual. ]
Thanks. [ Ange says, once she's let go. ] If there's anything I can help you with too at some point, you should let me know.
[ She glances back over her shoulder at the wyvern, and then over to Claude again. ]
Mroe than just watching her while you're gone, I mean. [ Though, let's be real. Ange was the one being babysat by the wyvern, not the other way around. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-21 11:20 am (UTC)He can't keep her safe. Not from this place, and certainly not from herself. But he can help her feel like he can, for just a moment. He does relinquish her from his arms eventually though, lip curled in a half-smile seeing her tear-streaked face wiped clean, though he can still see the vestiges of exhaustion in her, the sort you get after you spill your guts without ever having planned on it. ]
Well... you could come with me inside? [ He nods over at the Apothecary. ] I'm beat. I could use a sit down. But I wouldn't mind the company.
[ The place is trashed to hell. He's doing it because he's not going to send her home, not in this condition, and he'd really like to lie down for a few minutes or hours, or possibly days. But also because after everything that's happened, it will do the paranoid corners of his mind good to have a sharp pair of eyes in there with him to catch onto whatever it is he may miss. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-23 07:19 pm (UTC)[ There's no sharpness to her words at all, even when Ange is saying stuff that's a little bit more like the things she would usually say - if neither of them had been through the wringer in their own way over the past week. If they didn't have such a massively embarrassing emotional display.
It's likely the fault of all of those things that her tone is more meek now as she speaks.
Still - she doesn't seem to reject his request, already stepping closer in the direction of the door before she stops to look back at him. ]
It should be safe to do that now. Or-- You know, whatever goes for 'safe' in this place on a normal day.