[ rafal arrives promptly, waiting outside with his arms crossed. he's not even sure what this discussion will lead to. he only knows it is necessary. claude is an ally. certain relationships must be maintained.
and he's . . . curious to hear what claude will say. ]
[ Claude is, he must admit, entirely disgruntled about this whole thing. It's one thing to have the truth yanked out of him through the various machinations of this place, and another to freely share it with a treasured friend. To be forced into divulging it due to a different version of himself after spending so long couching his life in secrecy -- well, that's just goddamn insulting.
He'd been hopeful that Rafal would do him the courtesy of just pretending it never happened, but he can't blame the man for choosing against it. Claude would be right there prying with the best of them. He isn't looking terribly pleased when the door swings open, his usual customer service smile replaced with something a little more belligerent. ]
Good afternoon, Rafal. Come in, come in -- I'll close up shop for the evening. Care for a cup of tea while we chat?
[ Is he stalling? Maybe. He doesn't expect Rafal to really care about all of this, really; he's not from this land, and probably will see this as small in comparison to the many worlds and cultures he's been exposed to. That does little to quell his own apprehension. ]
[ his amusement grows a little. the strategist, stalling. it is a little funny in hindsight. perhaps there'll be poison in his cup. which would also be amusing. he pulls up a chair, settling himself politely. ]
Has anyone ever told you it's rude to make assumptions when someone's just being polite? Just for that, I'm brewing you the bitterest tea I've got, [ Claude says, jabbing a finger in Rafal's direction as he ducks behind the counter for a moment.
Rafal is not nearly as gentle as Marianne or Ethlyn, nor does he want him to be (it would be a bit odd, that), but at least he can trust the man to get straight to the point. He does make the damn tea, though. If he's going to have this conversation, he'll have it caffeinated.
He sets the teapot between them, leaning back to snag a couple of chipped cups that have seen better days. (He wasn't lying -- the tea is awfully bitter. But he's not so cruel as to not have a little carafe of cream and a bowl of sugar between them.) ]
I've got plenty of questions for you too, anyway. That was quite the show you put on for me. Other-me. WHatever you'd like to call him. I've got a few names in mind, let me tell you.
[ rafal waits until claude has settled himself. he is in no rush after all. dragons never lack in time. once claude is seated, rafal promptly takes the bowl of sugar and dumps it into his cup without fanfare.
he stirs it in, watching the sugar swirl. ]
I thought Nil would be most likely to set your . . . past self at ease. I'm not really known for that, after all. And I've spent centuries being Nil. It served a purpose, nothing more.
You certainly changed course quickly enough. I didn't know that you had that sort of persona under your belt.
[ It's a handy trick. One that's even more deceitful than Claude's own, but a handy trick nonetheless.
He sighs. ]
It wasn't my past self. I'll tell you that much. It was a different version of me -- many of which seem to exist, including the one that you know. And one who has made very different choices than I.
[ He takes a sip of his tea, bracing himself. ]
I can tell you more, I suppose. But not until you give me your word that this stays between you and I.
[ rafal shrugs, picking up his tea and taking a sip. it'll do, he supposes. ]
As I said, I had centuries. And survival is an excellent motivator.
[ be nil or die. no one required rafal's existence. becoming his brother and nel's "twin" ensured his escape from sombron. he should have been more grateful to her, he thinks with a pang. he should have been a better brother. ]
I'll keep my word, regardless. But I would like to know why being Claude elicited such revulsion in your counterpart. Almost as though they're completely different people.
It speaks to me that you are at a divide with your . . . legacies.
Still. You didn't need to do all of that. It's not as though entertaining that other version of me's ire would do anything more than pose a brief irritant to you,
[ Claude points out, lacing his fingers together. A frown tugs at his mouth. Will Rafal truly understand where he's coming from with all of this? Or will he be too distant from what it's like to be human, to labour underneath what must be, to Rafal, just one of many, many, many worlds' systems, small in comparison to the looming prospect of greater war and defeat lying in wait?
It doesn't matter, he supposes. They are where they are. If Rafal says it speaks to him, perhaps he should take him at his word. ]
For all intents and purposes, that was a very different person. I was... well, I wasn't born in Fodlan. I was born in a land called Almyra. And it was one that didn't much appreciate my Fodlani heritage, [ he admits with a wry sort of smile. It doesn't reach his eyes, but then again, it rarely does. ] So I left. I went to Fodlan, to learn what I could of the world, and took my Fodlani name on with it.
That other version of me, it seems, decided to stay and see what he could prove there. I doubt he got very far.
[ another claude who chose to make his fortunes in another manner. his disgust, palpable at hearing of a version who went to fodlan. politics, identity, they twist and turn. he idly wonders about his alter. how had his father killed "rafal" in another elyos? how did veyle die in his? what happened to nel?
two worlds, mirror images. different paths laid out before everyone. rafal is quiet for a moment. ]
It may have been a very different Almyra. It is hard to say without seeing it for yourself.
You may doubt it, but I wonder. Do you regret it? Choosing one heritage over another. That does not come easily to anyone.
[ Claude glances down at the table. He has a difficult time imagining an Almyra that would have welcomed him, shielded him in her warm embrace, where he could have come of age without bearing the shackles of his people's supposed cowardice weighing him down. It is a less pleasant thought than he wants it to be. He's selfish; the idea of a different version of him being able to grow up unencumbered by it all makes him feel shockingly bitter.
He takes a sip of his tea. ]
I don't regret it, because I didn't choose one over the other. I'm just... keeping things that ought to be concealed close to my chest for now. I wouldn't have been able to so much as step foot into the Officer's Academy otherwise.
[ The other version of himself that Rafal knows did much the same, was from much the same world; Claude is what he was known as, not Khalid. ]
But I'll return to Almyra once all is said and done. Then, I won't be choosing one or the other, but will use them both for the betterment of both sides.
[ what a complex political situation. it reminds him of tensions in the past between brodia and elusia. religious difference, ruling differences, land, class, they all factor in. humans make things deeply complicated for themselves. ]
That's quite the goal. No wonder you've kept quiet about it for so long.
Is Claude real then? Or simply an act for the masses?
Claude is real, [ Claude says quickly. It's a question he's asked himself too, over and over again: does he have any reason to be in Fodlan? Does he have any right to this position he's found himself in? No matter how much of an Almyran he proved himself to be, it had never been enough for his countrymen; would Fodlan be the same?
It was, as it turned out. But Claude has learned over the years that you can't wait for someone else to tell you who you are. You have to seize it for yourself, and hold on for dear life. If he doesn't, he'd have nowhere else to turn. ]
It's my Fodlani name, one my own mother had given me, after our ancestor Claudia von Riegan. I'm as much Fodlani as I am Almyran, and as much Almyran as I am Fodlani. Even if others might not agree, that doesn't change the truth.
Of course, my intentions aren't entirely public, but I dare you to find a politician whose intentions are.
[ he's still hiding. rafal can understand why. you never know who may turn up here. but even so, what else is claude aiming for? the world is bigger than a few countries. he may not see a way out, but as rafal has discovered the hard way, there always is if you put your mind to it.
he failed in that regard. he's learned it well now. ]
[ Claude sighs, resting his chin on the heel of his hand. ]
My ambitions aren't so different from what I imagine everyone else's ambitions are. Find a way back home, where I belong. Find a way to stablize this place so that those who don't have a home to go to will remain in some form of safe shelter. Uncover the mysteries at the heart of this place, find those responsible for all of the tumult and torment, and have them face the music for everything they've put people through.
I'd be shocked if anyone would take issue with any of those goals.
[ Unlike ending prejudice which is, he has to admit, shockingly controversial. ]
That, my friend -- [ Claude points his finger at Rafal, and quite rudely too ] -- is a damn good question. And if I had the answer to it, I'd be doing it already instead of talking to you. No offense meant, of course.
[ Rafal may be more at ease with being here than others, considering his familiarity with traveling between worlds, but Claude can't imagine he enjoys being trapped here. ]
But I'm still figuring that part out. We've finally discovered the truth behind this place, even if it's not the whole truth. What to do with that truth is always the trickier bit. And you, Rafal? Any lofty plans of your own?
[ rafal leans back with a frown. it's not that he can't come up with plans. he's certainly laid more complex traps and layers when dealing with the kingdoms, destroying them all with fell strokes and resurrecting them as his puppets.
but rafal will not use that power anymore. he cannot. he prefers the role of a powerful brute. a blunt weapon. he can't say that is more rafal than . . . what he was in the past. ]
My oath is to the people here. I will abide what they choose and ensure no world falls.
What does it mean, to abide by what they choose? The people who remember being born and raised here are the people here, but they don't seem to know what goes on here. They forget, their moods change with the wind, and they barely recognize the shifts in the world around them.
Or do you mean us, the Chosen?
[ And what a fraught group they are. They're not about to go at each other's necks, but a difference in opinion has made itself most starkly known. ]
There may come a time where you must pick a side, person against person. That time will come for me too.
[ He's not one to choose sides based on sentimentality. He thinks Rafal knows him well enough by now to know that to be the case as well. ]
[ hm. he's not wrong. this would be easier if alear was here. rafal would take his cues from him. he's reluctant to form a strong opinion for other side, recognizing both and also not wanting to step up and wield his own power.
but maybe he'll have to. maybe this is a test for him. can he do it without succumbing to his blood and legacy? ]
Then I will decide when that time comes. For now, I rather not throw my weight into any faction.
In that case... before you choose a side, in exchange for me spilling my guts, which I've now done a considerable amount of - [ he's left plenty out, but only a fool would be so easily parted from their closely held secrets ] - do me the favour of hearing me out first.
What I lack in technological know-how, I make up for in common sense, let's say. And we both want for the greater good. And in this place, not for power.
[ It's what separates him from the likes of the others who have been steadily gaining power, he thinks. Claude genuinely wants what's best for this place and for its people, and none of his aspirations or desire for power has coloured that.
This isn't the place in which he wants that power, after all. ]
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timeasmymeasure
( text )
Date: 2024-09-10 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-09-10 04:16 am (UTC)Nevertheless we should talk, should we not?
no subject
Date: 2024-09-18 07:38 am (UTC)I suppose we should. Privately, I ask. Enough of having such soul bearing conversations out in the middle of the street.
You don't intend to go around spreading tales of that unfortunate lapse in reality, I hope.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-18 07:44 am (UTC)Pick a location. I shall meet you there.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-24 02:11 am (UTC)[ Nice and private, as long as he closes it down. He doesn't want anyone else to hear about this. ]
( text > action )
Date: 2024-09-24 09:40 am (UTC)and he's . . . curious to hear what claude will say. ]
action
Date: 2024-09-29 12:17 am (UTC)He'd been hopeful that Rafal would do him the courtesy of just pretending it never happened, but he can't blame the man for choosing against it. Claude would be right there prying with the best of them. He isn't looking terribly pleased when the door swings open, his usual customer service smile replaced with something a little more belligerent. ]
Good afternoon, Rafal. Come in, come in -- I'll close up shop for the evening. Care for a cup of tea while we chat?
[ Is he stalling? Maybe. He doesn't expect Rafal to really care about all of this, really; he's not from this land, and probably will see this as small in comparison to the many worlds and cultures he's been exposed to. That does little to quell his own apprehension. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-09-29 12:53 am (UTC)[ his amusement grows a little. the strategist, stalling. it is a little funny in hindsight. perhaps there'll be poison in his cup. which would also be amusing. he pulls up a chair, settling himself politely. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 09:00 am (UTC)Rafal is not nearly as gentle as Marianne or Ethlyn, nor does he want him to be (it would be a bit odd, that), but at least he can trust the man to get straight to the point. He does make the damn tea, though. If he's going to have this conversation, he'll have it caffeinated.
He sets the teapot between them, leaning back to snag a couple of chipped cups that have seen better days. (He wasn't lying -- the tea is awfully bitter. But he's not so cruel as to not have a little carafe of cream and a bowl of sugar between them.) ]
I've got plenty of questions for you too, anyway. That was quite the show you put on for me. Other-me. WHatever you'd like to call him. I've got a few names in mind, let me tell you.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 09:10 am (UTC)he stirs it in, watching the sugar swirl. ]
I thought Nil would be most likely to set your . . . past self at ease. I'm not really known for that, after all. And I've spent centuries being Nil. It served a purpose, nothing more.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-09 08:59 pm (UTC)[ It's a handy trick. One that's even more deceitful than Claude's own, but a handy trick nonetheless.
He sighs. ]
It wasn't my past self. I'll tell you that much. It was a different version of me -- many of which seem to exist, including the one that you know. And one who has made very different choices than I.
[ He takes a sip of his tea, bracing himself. ]
I can tell you more, I suppose. But not until you give me your word that this stays between you and I.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-10 12:25 am (UTC)As I said, I had centuries. And survival is an excellent motivator.
[ be nil or die. no one required rafal's existence. becoming his brother and nel's "twin" ensured his escape from sombron. he should have been more grateful to her, he thinks with a pang. he should have been a better brother. ]
I'll keep my word, regardless. But I would like to know why being Claude elicited such revulsion in your counterpart. Almost as though they're completely different people.
It speaks to me that you are at a divide with your . . . legacies.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-16 12:45 am (UTC)[ Claude points out, lacing his fingers together. A frown tugs at his mouth. Will Rafal truly understand where he's coming from with all of this? Or will he be too distant from what it's like to be human, to labour underneath what must be, to Rafal, just one of many, many, many worlds' systems, small in comparison to the looming prospect of greater war and defeat lying in wait?
It doesn't matter, he supposes. They are where they are. If Rafal says it speaks to him, perhaps he should take him at his word. ]
For all intents and purposes, that was a very different person. I was... well, I wasn't born in Fodlan. I was born in a land called Almyra. And it was one that didn't much appreciate my Fodlani heritage, [ he admits with a wry sort of smile. It doesn't reach his eyes, but then again, it rarely does. ] So I left. I went to Fodlan, to learn what I could of the world, and took my Fodlani name on with it.
That other version of me, it seems, decided to stay and see what he could prove there. I doubt he got very far.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-16 11:33 am (UTC)two worlds, mirror images. different paths laid out before everyone. rafal is quiet for a moment. ]
It may have been a very different Almyra. It is hard to say without seeing it for yourself.
You may doubt it, but I wonder. Do you regret it? Choosing one heritage over another. That does not come easily to anyone.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-23 01:16 am (UTC)[ Claude glances down at the table. He has a difficult time imagining an Almyra that would have welcomed him, shielded him in her warm embrace, where he could have come of age without bearing the shackles of his people's supposed cowardice weighing him down. It is a less pleasant thought than he wants it to be. He's selfish; the idea of a different version of him being able to grow up unencumbered by it all makes him feel shockingly bitter.
He takes a sip of his tea. ]
I don't regret it, because I didn't choose one over the other. I'm just... keeping things that ought to be concealed close to my chest for now. I wouldn't have been able to so much as step foot into the Officer's Academy otherwise.
[ The other version of himself that Rafal knows did much the same, was from much the same world; Claude is what he was known as, not Khalid. ]
But I'll return to Almyra once all is said and done. Then, I won't be choosing one or the other, but will use them both for the betterment of both sides.
[ Well. He hopes. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-24 01:36 am (UTC)That's quite the goal. No wonder you've kept quiet about it for so long.
Is Claude real then? Or simply an act for the masses?
no subject
Date: 2024-10-29 08:12 am (UTC)It was, as it turned out. But Claude has learned over the years that you can't wait for someone else to tell you who you are. You have to seize it for yourself, and hold on for dear life. If he doesn't, he'd have nowhere else to turn. ]
It's my Fodlani name, one my own mother had given me, after our ancestor Claudia von Riegan. I'm as much Fodlani as I am Almyran, and as much Almyran as I am Fodlani. Even if others might not agree, that doesn't change the truth.
Of course, my intentions aren't entirely public, but I dare you to find a politician whose intentions are.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 12:33 am (UTC)[ he's still hiding. rafal can understand why. you never know who may turn up here. but even so, what else is claude aiming for? the world is bigger than a few countries. he may not see a way out, but as rafal has discovered the hard way, there always is if you put your mind to it.
he failed in that regard. he's learned it well now. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-11-19 10:04 pm (UTC)[ Claude sighs, resting his chin on the heel of his hand. ]
My ambitions aren't so different from what I imagine everyone else's ambitions are. Find a way back home, where I belong. Find a way to stablize this place so that those who don't have a home to go to will remain in some form of safe shelter. Uncover the mysteries at the heart of this place, find those responsible for all of the tumult and torment, and have them face the music for everything they've put people through.
I'd be shocked if anyone would take issue with any of those goals.
[ Unlike ending prejudice which is, he has to admit, shockingly controversial. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-11-20 01:41 am (UTC)And what will you do in order to reach them?
no subject
Date: 2024-11-23 10:19 am (UTC)[ Rafal may be more at ease with being here than others, considering his familiarity with traveling between worlds, but Claude can't imagine he enjoys being trapped here. ]
But I'm still figuring that part out. We've finally discovered the truth behind this place, even if it's not the whole truth. What to do with that truth is always the trickier bit. And you, Rafal? Any lofty plans of your own?
no subject
Date: 2024-11-24 01:10 am (UTC)but rafal will not use that power anymore. he cannot. he prefers the role of a powerful brute. a blunt weapon. he can't say that is more rafal than . . . what he was in the past. ]
My oath is to the people here. I will abide what they choose and ensure no world falls.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-03 09:16 am (UTC)Or do you mean us, the Chosen?
[ And what a fraught group they are. They're not about to go at each other's necks, but a difference in opinion has made itself most starkly known. ]
There may come a time where you must pick a side, person against person. That time will come for me too.
[ He's not one to choose sides based on sentimentality. He thinks Rafal knows him well enough by now to know that to be the case as well. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-08 11:26 am (UTC)but maybe he'll have to. maybe this is a test for him. can he do it without succumbing to his blood and legacy? ]
Then I will decide when that time comes. For now, I rather not throw my weight into any faction.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-21 11:29 am (UTC)What I lack in technological know-how, I make up for in common sense, let's say. And we both want for the greater good. And in this place, not for power.
[ It's what separates him from the likes of the others who have been steadily gaining power, he thinks. Claude genuinely wants what's best for this place and for its people, and none of his aspirations or desire for power has coloured that.
This isn't the place in which he wants that power, after all. ]
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